I love when porn stars talk about their job in a way that’s honest, informative and empowering! This video will give you some ideas of what it takes to be a porn star.
The other day a friend referred me to an article that made me cry. I would copy/paste the whole thing here but I won’t.
It’s written by adult performer Stoya about how the treatment she receives as a porn star tends to be less cruel than the hostility of common street harassers.
First she counts off the times she’s been harassed at a trade show. The harassment is creepy but sounds not much worse than Bridget Jones’s family reunions.
The following bit is what made me tear up. It’s too familiar.
They say I have a sweet ass, nice tits, a real pretty dress. They say I’m their future wife, or I’d look good with their dick in my mouth. They try (and probably succeed at times) to take pictures down my shirt. They ask if they can get my number, they ask where I live, why I’m not smiling, why…
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Before venturing into the world of anal play, one must be conscious of the body as a whole and specifically one’s sphincter (aka your butt hole). Porn might make it look easy and quick, but it’s no small thing to put even a small thing in your ass.
The big three pointers to remember are relaxation, lubrication and communication. Spend time relaxing your whole body and especially the muscles around the anus. If you are new to anal play, give yourself a goal to do nothing but massage the muscles and the opening of the anus for at least 30 minutes without actually inserting anything. Use lots of lube, and then a little more lube, just in case. Another important tip is to make sure you are aren’t neglecting your or your partner’s front. Stimulate her clitoris if you are with a woman and keep up a nice handjob if you’re with a man. That will make the body and muscles relax more and it will make the anal pleasure more intense.
Once you have put some effort into the relaxation and the lubrication, start with a finger — your/ your partner’s pinky is probably the best one to start with. Then slowly, with lots of communication, move to something larger. Or maybe even just stick with something small your first time, and then build up to something larger next time you try it.
Some people don’t want to do anal because of the possibility that it might be messy. Professional porn lady Stoya’s words of advice are right on. Eat healthy, if you are putting good things into your body, they won’t be so messy on the way out. Before you start, take a shower and clean your anus with some warm water. Or if you are really worried about it, carefully give yourself an enema or try anal douching. The best way to deal with a possible mess is to allow for it to happen, and come to terms with that before you start. It’s ok, messes happen and sex can be messy even if you aren’t anally inclined. So take a deep breath and remember, everyone has the same thing up their ass.
With these easy tips you are well on your way to safe, comfortable anal play. It’s not for everyone so also make sure you’re aware of your partner’s desires and keep communicating before, during and after the act so you’re on the same page.
If you want more in-depth instructions, along with some sexy people showing you the how-to, check out Tristan Taormino’s many wonderful educational DVDs. And if you want some fun anal toys with which to play, check out Self Serve’s website and search for anal toys.
- How to Make Anal Sex More Pleasurable (indigosoul77.wordpress.com)
- Anal Intercourse Suggestions – Your Guide to Getting Into by The Rear (socyberty.com)
- Anal Sex: A Response to Students’ Questions (healthyheels.wordpress.com)