Addicted to Porn


Clinical psychologist David Ley questions common diagnosis

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We need to start having open, honest discussions about why the problem of so-called porn addiction actually has less to do with titillating material, and more to do with how people use them.

David Ley, a clinical psychologist and executive director of New Mexico Solutions who also published the book The Myth of Sex Addiction, is on a mission to define that difference.

“When we over-focus on pornography, we externalize the problem,” Ley says. “A person is sitting there watching pornography—it’s the person we are trying to help, and we shouldn’t spend too much energy trying to stop pornography.”

From my own experiences talking to people about porn (I love my job!), people use porn for many reasons, including boredom, curiosity, difference in libido and seeing sexual variety without experiencing and/or breaking relationship agreements.

Obviously, people can have an unhealthy relationship with sex or porn, and seeing a counselor or therapist is a really great way to work on what’s troubling them. But we see some trends in these industries that are pretty interesting.

Porn’s big consumers are still mostly older, rich, white men, the same demographic that’s most likely to be classified as as porn addicts, according to Ley. But, porn and sex addiction are not a diagnosis in the official Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders because there isn’t sufficient research to back up the label. Porn addiction is often classified as “high frequency viewing of sexual images,” according to Ley and his colleagues’ new academic review paper “The Emperor Has No Clothes: A Review of the ‘Pornography Addiction’ Model.”

It’s also common for people who feel they have a problematic relationship with porn to view it in places that are considered inappropriate, such as work. But I think that has more to say about our culture around sex and porn than about porn addiction, and Ley agrees.

“We are applying unfair bias against sexuality, such that we stigmatize and penalize people who are caught using pornography at work than if they are caught using Facebook or fantasy football,” Ley says. “And as an employer, I’ve got more of a problem with people spending time on social media than people watching porn at work.”

Ley says research from those who say porn addiction is a real thing says between 6 and 10 percent of people are addicted to porn, but it’s a bit more complex than that.

“As much as 10 percent of people might report to occasionally worrying about their use of porn, but substantially less than 1 percent (about .5 percent) of people report actually having problems from their difficulty controlling their porn use,” he writes.

Ley says a common theme in his practice is that patients who have a problematic relationship with explicit media often have few coping strategies to manage stress that has nothing to do with their sexual appetite.

“As people reduce down to a single coping strategy, whether it’s alcohol, pornography or collecting model trains, we see that one coping strategy can become a problem in their lives if they’re overusing it,” Ley says.

The media hype around porn addiction, and the lucrative treatment industry, would have us believe that consuming porn causes lasting physical changes in our brain, but Ley says the scientific support for those claims is often very weak.

“Research studies that make those claims never compare the effects of pornography to the effects of television,” Ley says. “There’s also research that illustrates when you show sports fans images of their sports team, their brain reacts in a very strong way that is identical to the way pornography is being described as causing brain changes. Are we then to assume that pro sports and NFL is addictive? No.”

Ley emphasizes that porn is no different from other forms of entertainment and is not intended to be a representation of real-life sex. However, in a culture that skimps on sex education for young adults, he says, they often to turn to porn as teacher. And those lessons aren’t really beneficial.

The psychologist who will teach a new class this semester at Southwestern College was recently featured on Katie Couric’s talk show Katie. Watch a video of the appearance below.

This column was originally published in the Santa Fe Reporter on Sept. 30th 2014.
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Cock Tease from Wolf Hudson, and ethical porn star.


In case you don’t know Wolf Hudson, consider checking him out. He’s in lots of my favorite feminist porn titles. Check out his (hot) body of work, wolfhudsonisbad.com/

Cock Tease from Wolf Hudson

Feminist porn is a growing industry, but there are still lots of questions about what is means to make and watch feminist porn. I found a guide to help you navigate the porny waters. Here’s a breakdown.

1. Forget What You Think You Know

Feminist porn isn’t just for women. It can be enjoyed by lots of different folks because it offers up so much variety in what you see. You see people of all different body types, colors, ability and more. You might find you’re into something you never would have found watching/looking at one genre of porn.

Carlyle Jansen, owner of feminist adult store Good For Her and founder of the Feminist Porn Awards explains: “People think we’re the Lesbian Porn Awards or the Man Hating Porn Awards; they think feminism is passé. We want women’s, men’s, and trans perspectives; we’re not just looking for what women want.”

2. Consult the Experts!

There are already books, awards and even conferences dedicated to talking about feminist porn. You can also take a look at the annual Feminist Porn Awards for some ideas on where to start in your adventure.

3. Check in With the Performers Themselves

Performers and directors in feminist porn are very accessible via social media. If you have questions about what you see and what makes it ethical or feminist, just ask them.

4. Learn More About It

Check out the Feminist Porn Book and hopefully soon, an academic journal devoted to porn studies.

5. Vote With Your Dollar

You get what you pay for. And this is some high quality stuff! Instead of going to the candy isle when you go to the porn grocery store, pick some up fruits and vegetables too! These people are making porn we can learn from. Most porn doesn’t have that quality. This is porn that talks about or models consent and communicating about desires.
Wanna see how feminist porn people party? Check out the Flickr account for the Feminist Porn Awards.

 

Sexy Photos of Billy Castro


Billy Castro is a hot-as-hot-can-be FTM adult performer. I wanted to share some photos of him with you because, I think you might enjoy them too. Check out his Tumblr here. If you want to see some titles he’s in you can look online here, or stop by Self Serve in Albuquerque. We have some for rent and for sale.

I found the below photos on this site.

BREAKING: Women like porn too! And Pat Robertson is confused about that.


This is one of those videos that I watch, and I’m not sure whether to feel enraged at the way Pat Robertson and his co-host, Kristi Watts, conceptualize and discuss women, or to laugh at his utter confusion at the idea that women are sexual human beings, just like men (or boys, as he refers to them).

Pornographic photography in 1910s

Pornographic photography in 1910s (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So I just decided not to let this very confused elderly gentleman get under my skin, and instead I’ll try to clear up some misconceptions Robertson seems to have about women and humans in general.

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