Ask Self Serve – Male Prostate Pleasure

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Question: Why do heterosexual men like prostate stimulation? Isn’t it painful and messy?

Answer: We’re excited to answer this question – it’s one we get a lot. Lots of couples experiment with anal play because it can feel delightful for both partners and add excitement. Most men have the bonus of a prostate, often called the male gspot, because it provides a different orgasm than penile stimulation. Many men report using a prostate massager provides new levels of pleasure. Try the Aneros Helix — the reviews are amazing.

A new book, The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, delves into the joys of prostate play and co-author Aislinn Emirzian is visiting Albuquerque on her nationwide tour!

Many people still inaccurately think guys who like anal stimulation must be gay. This idea is illogical and homophobic. Gay men also like blowjobs, but we don’t see hetero men giving those up in fear of seeming gay! Stimulating a body part has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Touching the prostate directly or indirectly feels good and people enjoy things that feel good. Men enjoy prostate play regardless of sexual orientation.

Sex in general and prostate stimulation shouldn’t hurt. If it does, your body might need more time to relax, more lube or a smaller toy. As for the ‘mess’ you’ve got options to minimize the likelihood of fecal matter making an appearance (if it does, keep calm, carry on and laugh it off). Shower down a few hours before and use your finger to gently clean the opening and insert your finger a bit. Consider an anal douche or enema, which flushes your anal cavity with water. Make sure an enema is completed at least a few hours before sex so your butt has time to recover.

Email your questions to

Questions are answered by Self Serve Staff and edited by Hunter Riley.

Always seek the advice of a qualified healthcare provider for any medical condition.

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