Your pelvic floor wants to say hello

Kegel exercises

Kegel exercises (Photo credit: futureshocked)

Your pelvic floor is a group of muscles that supports organs, such as your bladder and bowels. It’s common for both men and women to have never heard of their pubococcygeus (PC) muscle before, but it’s very important for bladder control, preventing incontinence and it can make your orgasm more intense. If you’re in touch with your pelvic floor muscles you can more easily regulate your orgasm, which is great for men who want to last longer and for women who want control of their orgasm.

According to the Mayo Clinic, a woman’s pelvic floor muscles can be weakened by pregnancy, childbirth, age and being overweight.

“This may allow your pelvic organs to descend and bulge into your vagina — a condition known as pelvic organ prolapse,” according to the Mayo Clinic’s website. “The effects of pelvic organ prolapse range from uncomfortable pelvic pressure to leakage of urine.”

For men, pelvic floor strength can have great benefits. According to a 2004 study at the University of Bristol, “doing regular pelvic floor exercises achieved the same success rates as the drug sildenafil (Viagra) in improving sexual function in men.” It can also help regain control after a prostate operation.

If you want to exercise your pelvic floor but have no idea how, try going to the bathroom and if you can stop your urine mid-flow, the muscles you contract to do so are your pelvic floor muscles. For men, a great way to see your pelvic floor in action is to make your penis pop up momentarily. Both of these exercises involve a basic contraction.

Pilates, yoga and core strengthening exercises often pay attention to the pelvic floor, which can also be a good way to strengthen your kegel muscles.

Kegel exercise toys are becoming more popular. Most of them are marketed for women, such as Betty Dodson’s vaginal barbell. The idea is that you insert the stainless steel barbell and contract your pelvic floor muscles. That contraction will elevate the protruding end of the barbell. Once you gain more strength, you can make the exercise more intense by lifting the heavier end of the barbell while you insert the lighter end.

Pelvic-floor exercise balls are also gaining popularity. Two companies that I know of that make these toys are JeJoue and Fun Factory. The balls are designed for vaginal insertion, when the wearer moves around, such as dancing or cleaning, there is an inner ball that moves inside the ball that is inserted. That movement makes the wearer’s PC muscle contract, and hold on to the moving ball.

Pelvic floor exercises for men are listed here. Another exercise that helps delay ejaculation is to become aroused up to “the point of no return,” but don’t go past that point. Instead, hold a kegel contraction for 10 seconds or more and once the urge to come has subsided, release the contraction.

If you’re interested in buying any of the kegal exercise toys mentioned in this post, or if you want to take a Sexercise! class at Self Serve in Albuquerque visit Self Serve’s website.

May is Masturbation Month

Take advantage of all the benefits masturbation has to offer! Orgasms, reduced stress, being a good teacher to your partner and many more.

What are the other benefits of masturbation? Leave your reply in the comment section if you are celebrating.

The following is from the examiner.comPhoto: CreativeCommons-macrophile

Is May really National Masturbation Month?

Is May really National Masturbation Month?

Jefferson Adams' photo

SF Health News Examiner
The celebration of May as National Masturbation Month began in 1995 in
San Francisco as a response to the forced resignation of then U.S.
Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders. Photo: CreativeCommons-macrophile

In case you were wondering, May is National Masturbation Month. The celebration of May as National Masturbation Month began in 1995 in San Francisco as a response to the forced resignation of then U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders.

After a speech at the United Nations World AIDS Day in 1994, an audience member asked Elders about masturbation’s potential for discouraging early sexual activity. She answered,“I think it is something that is part of human sexuality and a part of something that perhaps should be taught.”

That was the end of Elders’ career as America’s first black Surgeon General, but the spark for National Masturbation Month. Offended by Elders’ ouster, the ever progressive, pro-sex staff of San Francisco’s sex toy and education company Good Vibrations decided to find a way to keep the focus on Elders’ unjust firing, and to bring talk about masturbation into the mainstream in just the way Elders had envisioned.

Realizing that large number of folks lacked support and advice to help them enjoy the simple, basic act of masturbation, Good Vibrations sought to provide support, advice, and reassurance for people looking to open their own personal sexual horizons.

And so was born National Masturbation Month. Among the first steps Good Vibrations took was to promote masturbation as healthy, safe and natural way to express one’s sexuality, thereby removing much of the shame and stigma have so long colored the act masturbation.

So, is it true, as so many believe that masturbation is so commonplace, natural, pleasurable and healthy that “ninety-eight percent of us masturbate, and the other two percent are liars?” If so, why do we need an entire month to educate people on something they’re already enjoying?

The answer is twofold: First, to help those already enjoying themselves to delve further. Second, and most importantly, it looks like plenty of people might still benefit from some encouragement and education.

A recent cross sample study of American adults asked the question: “On average, over the past 12 months, how often did you masturbate?” Only 38 percent of women said they’d masturbated at all during the past year, while 61 percent of men had done so.
The data shows that young women seem to warm up to masturbation more slowly. The study showed women from 20- to 39-years old were the most enthusiastic masturbators, with women 18 to 20, and those over 40 masturbating less. The study is the subject of an excellent article by Journalist Michael Castleman in Psychology Today.

Earlier studies have shown that rates of masturbation are higher for both men and women with higher education, more frequent sexual thoughts, sexual experimentation before puberty, and more lifetime sexual partners. Moreover, masturbation has documented physical benefits for both men and women, to say nothing of likely emotional and psychological benefits.

Health Benefits for Men
A 2007 article in Sexual and Relationship Therapy notes that masturbation may help men improve immune system function, build resistance to prostate gland infection, promote overall prostate health. Moreover, Australian researchers have shown that frequent masturbation may lower a man’s risk of developing prostate cancer.

A survey of men found the more frequently a man masturbates between the ages of 20 and 50, the less likely they are to get prostate cancer. In fact, those who masturbated more than five times a week were one-third less likely to develop prostate cancer.

These findings were the subject of a 2003 Doonesbury panel by Pulitzer Prize-winning Garry Trudeau. In the panel, one character alludes to masturbation as “self-dating.”  Nearly half of the 700 papers which normally syndicate Doonesbury did not to run that strip, proving that public discussion of masturbation is still a thorny issue for some, and perhaps attesting to the need for an observance like National Masturbation Month.

Health Benefits for Women
Women who masturbate regularly increase their resistance to yeast infections. Masturbation helps women release pre-menstrual tension and other physical discomfort associated with menstrual cycles, like cramps. Masturbation increases blood flow to the pelvic region, which helps to reduce pelvic cramping and related backaches. Masturbation can also help to alleviate chronic back pain and increase a woman’s overall pain threshold.

Health Benefits for Both Men and Women
For both men and women, masturbation is the safest sex possible, with no possibility of sexually transmitted disease, or of unwanted pregnancy. It’s a great way to relieve stress, and release a nice flood of mood boosting endorphins. Masturbation is both a natural energizer, and a good way to help you sleep better, depending on the time of day. Lastly, masturbation helps to build stronger pelvic floor muscles, which can improve sexual performance and enjoyment. The benefits of masturbation for men and women is the subject of an excellent article for Fox News by Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright.

So, don’t just stand there, get out and celebrate National Masturbation Month. I’ll leave the details to you.

It’s a dildo bath!

This is why I love my job at Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center! Sorry it’s not embedded, but it’s worth the click, I promise.

‘Sex Out Loud’ with Tristan Taormino

Tristan Taormino award-winning author, columni...

Tristan Taormino award-winning author, columnist, editor, sex educator, and porn director. Taken at the Feminist Porn Awards in Toronto, ON, Canada (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I can’t tell you all the ways I love the work that Tristan Taormino does. Now you all get to love her too on her new radio show “Sex Out Loud”

The show will take calls from listeners as well as host special guests to discuss a range of topics from BDSM to polyamory. The show airs on Friday at 8 pm EST but you can listen to older shows here. It’s great to have yet another sex-positive, educated person talking about sex, culture, politics and other important topics that many radio and TV shows don’t touch on.

The show is hosted on VoiceAmerica, so go check it out. You just might learn a thing or two.

GOP candidates’ poll ratings make some pretty interesting butt plugs

Really, all you need to know is in this video. It’s amazing and hilarious and I found it on Violet Blue’s website.

In case you were wondering about anal sex

Before venturing into the world of anal play, one must be conscious of the body as a whole and specifically one’s sphincter (aka your butt hole). Porn might make it look easy and quick, but it’s no small thing to put even a small thing in your ass.

The big three pointers to remember are relaxation, lubrication and communication. Spend time relaxing your whole body and especially the muscles around the anus. If you are new to anal play, give yourself a goal to do nothing but massage the muscles and the opening of the anus for at least 30 minutes without actually inserting anything. Use lots of lube, and then a little more lube, just in case. Another important tip is to make sure you are aren’t neglecting your or your partner’s front. Stimulate her clitoris if you are with a woman and keep up a nice handjob if you’re with a man. That will make the body and muscles relax more and it will make the anal pleasure more intense.

Once you have put some effort into the relaxation and the lubrication, start with a finger — your/ your partner’s pinky is probably the best one to start with. Then slowly, with lots of communication, move to something larger. Or maybe even just stick with something small your first time, and then build up to something larger next time you try it.

Some people don’t want to do anal because of the possibility that it might be messy. Professional porn lady Stoya’s words of advice are right on. Eat healthy, if you are putting good things into your body, they won’t be so messy on the way out. Before you start, take a shower and clean your anus with some warm water. Or if you are really worried about it, carefully give yourself an enema or try anal douching. The best way to deal with a possible mess is to allow for it to happen, and come to terms with that before you start. It’s ok, messes happen and sex can be messy even if you aren’t anally inclined. So take a deep breath and remember, everyone has the same thing up their ass.

With these easy tips you are well on your way to safe, comfortable anal play. It’s not for everyone so also make sure you’re aware of your partner’s desires and keep communicating before, during and after the act so you’re on the same page.

If you want more in-depth instructions, along with some sexy people showing you the how-to, check out Tristan Taormino’s many wonderful educational DVDs. And if you want some fun anal toys with which to play, check out Self Serve’s website and search for anal toys.

One Catholic reconciles religion, sex and birth control

Cover of Birth Control Review July 1919 Captio...

Don’t diss it if you haven’t tried it.

That’s one message I came away with after reading Jo McGowan’s piece on But McGowan made several other interesting points about the birth control debate in the Catholic church. She herself is a Catholic and thinks the church’s stance on birth control is an example of juvenile thinking.

“One of the surest signs of youth—in any profession—is an unswerving adherence to literal interpretations,” she wrote. “New teachers cling to the curriculum, whether or not the class is getting it. Young doctors focus on the clear x-ray, unable to see the patient in front of them writhing in pain. Parish priests preach the letter of the law, while their parishioners refuse to follow rules created without reference to the reality they know.”

Another interesting point she made is that  one of the church’s major priorities is for you to procreate, which starts with sex. It’s crucial for people of faith to learn about sex and how it plays a role in your life and how it affects each person.

“It is unsettling when men who may never have experienced sex feel qualified not just to speak about it but to pronounce on it with certainty,” she wrote.

Each woman should decide for herself when she wants to have a baby.

See the full story here